Hi everyone,
Today was hard... but let me start with the good. Jed woke up and came thru to the bathroom - there I was trying to make an effort to look human... lipstick in hand and brushing my hair. I then walked to the room to get dressed. When I got back to the bathroom, Jed was covered in my make-up so I ask him what he is doing... and he says "mama I want to be bootifull for that scanner lady" (Mandy!)
The blood test was so difficult, Dr Klass could not find a good vein so after 2 attempts and allot of kicking, screaming and biting he managed to get the required amount for the tests. It took 4 of us to hold Jed down... now that is what I call a fighter. After the tests were done, I wiped my tears and went up to pay Dr Klass. As I walked in to hand over the money (R525) he looked at me and said "Bonni this one is on me, just please I'll see you next week".... Dr Klass looked exhausted. What a kind man, I just can't believe how special he is. I love the fact that I can see when he is holding Jed to take his blood; it looks like it is actually hurting him more than Jed. You don't get many doctors like him anymore. We are blessed to have him! The blood test results came back all fine, the white blood cell count is still very good.... let's hope it stays that way! Chemo fights the blood cells....
After that we were off for radiation treatment and to see MANDY!!!! Jed was delighted to see her. While Jed and Mandy chatted; I met with the Reach for a Dream lady. The first thing I asked her is why she decided to come meet with Jed, and her answer made me sick to my tummy, I almost vomited .... she said "I see all terminal kids in this area and the very very sick ones to make their dreams come true"... after that all I heard was bla bla bla bla bla bla.... I actually didn't hear anything else she said... I kind of blurred the meeting out.... I guess she realised that, coz she later asked the radiation team if they could think of what Jed would like... Mandy suggested any Ben10 toys or anything a 4 year would like, spiderman etc..... She left a teddy that said Reach for a Dream... for whatever reason I hate that stupid teddy!
Chemo went okay, one of the pills started to melt before Jed could swollow it and I had a total panick attack but I literally poured the juice into his throat. His sores on his mouth are almost clear which is wonderful. The only issue I guess now is Jed's aggression which is so dam difficult to handle... he is so moody and he shouts, screams, fights and throws himself around. This is so different from his normal loving and sweet nature. I asked the doctor about it and all he said was, "radiation chemo brain cancer Bon... I'm sorry!"
My mom is still in hospital (but feeling so much better), my brother seems to have made a break through in one of his sessions today so a special thank you for keeping them in your prayers.
I'm off to PMB (my favorite place) to collect some of my personal goodies and Jed's toys. I will leave after chemo on Friday and be back on Saturday before chemo (no radiation on the weekend). I'm nervous to be away from Jed and I'm also nervous to see my gorgeous little home and know that I will not go back there. My home is really stunning, a little cottage in the forest with the cutest monkeys that play on the roof. My veggie garden will properly reflect my mood after being left all alone for so long. My ex PMB team are meeting me at my home to help with the packing. Thanks my special friends!
Have a blessed weekend and please keep my baby boy in your thoughts and prayers as always. Your love has now become my strength so no pressure!
Love
Bon and Jed.
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