Thursday, March 18, 2010

General update


18th March 2010


Hi there,
It has not been an easy couple of days. On Tuesday morning at 7am we lost Connor Ross! To those who have supported me through this emotionally-charged situation I can only say thank you. I’m broken to the very core and I just can’t believe that this precious child has left us. It feels like in one horrific, terrifying moment the reality of cancer has hit us once again.
There is nothing anyone can say or do that will ease his mother’s pain. Leigh was in the process of raising funds to get Connor his bone marrow transplant; his passing away is a horrific shock to all of his family and his extended oncology family. I received some well thought out advise “Bonni distance yourself from these children”.... well my comment is “there is enough people distancing themselves”. I have started taking the anti-depressant again and will continue until this HUGE hole in the pit of my stomach is gone. I can do nothing but think of Connor with his woolie sheep laughing and playing with Jed. He would always share his vomit bucket with Jeddy. When Jed walked in the room his whole face would light up. I am honoured to have spent Sunday with Connor where I got the opportunity to spoil him with games and smile toys. We also got his mommy some nice goodies and snacks – it may have made NO difference to the outcome but for the time I spent with Connor he was happy and looked forward to playing with the toys and games we got for him. (Thank you to Andrew Geddes for his donation to “Rainbows and Smiles”)
See attached picture!
Jed is okay – no I have NOT told him about Connor – I can only protect him from this sadness and it is a decision I do not regret and believe strongly in. I have never lied to Jed so if he asks about Connor I will tell him “he’s gone home....”
Jed has mouth sores and a huge mouth abscess from the chemo and his lowered immune system. We are treating it aggressively with two strong antibiotics; if it has not cleared up by Friday afternoon, Jed will need to go into surgery to have the abscess drained. Feeding him is NEVER easy and now you can just imagine how hard it is... even his bottle is hurting his mouth so we are syringe feeding him and giving him soft goodies. Yoghurt is a no no as Jed is neutropenic.
We will be hosting a fund raiser for Jed and Jordi on the 15th of May 2009. May is Brain and Spinal Cancer Awareness month. Both Jed and Jordan have escalating medical bills and as Michelle and I are both not working we need the help of our support base. We are looking at having an evening of fun, dance and plenty of snacks and food. We are selling tickets at R160 and at this stage we are hoping that Jed and Jordi will be able to attend the function. We only have 120 tickets so please let us know if you are keen.
Rainbows and smiles is a little charity that I have started, the aim is to support children with cancer by making them smile. The charity will assist with anything the family needs, from food, snacks, electricity bills anything..... I raise money by selling 2
nd hand clothes – last month we raised R500. A special thanks to Elizabeth, Michelle, Andrew, Barbara, Deirdre (from Planet Nails in Lambton) and my little old mom who donated so many bags of clothes. Anything sells so please think of us when cleaning out your cupboards. We sell them to the cleaners who in turn resell them so we need heaps of stock to make a difference.
Jed’s MRI is the 31st of March at 8am.... “In God we Trust”
Keep praying and sending me your love and support – I promise you it is needed!
Hugs
Bonni

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